Addictions

I play a game on PoGo called Addiction Solitaire and I think one of the reasons why it's so addicting is because it doesn't give you much of a chance to stop the game. When you win or lose a game and click "OK" a new game starts up and you keep playing, it's very hard to click that little red x to get out of the game, way to much fun.

While playing this game earlier this week, I started thinking about addictions and obsessions. I once had the bad habit of chewing/biting my nails but I don't think it was an addiction, I'm not sure I've even been addicted to anything. When I had the surgeries on my fingers I was given pain killers that was supposed to be addictive but I made sure I did not get hooked. I wonder if anyone truly wants to have an addiction, be it drugs or alcohol or cigarettes or even sex.

I've been called a "goody goody two shoes" several times in my life when I declined cigs and pot/hash and other stuff. I knew what could happen to people who liked it too much and I never wanted it to be apart of my life. Alcohol is nice in moderation but I've never had enough where I blacked out and after a few hangovers, I now know my limitations. How come many others do not know their limitations, do they not remember all the anti smoking campaigns? Do they not watch the news stories of all the drug dealers and druggies living on the street, do they not learn a lesson from all of that? Or have relatives die from cancer caused by smoking or chewing tobacco, or have their livers so enlarged and dieing.

I've heard some say; it can't be helped, I had no choice, I didn't mean for it to happen. That is all pitiful excuses. The only ones who can use those excuse are babies born with drug addictions/FAS from their stupid mothers.

I don't understand these kind of addictions and if I ever develop a bad habit that progressed into an addiction, I would want someone to kick me in the butt and tell me " What the Hell are you doing"

Thanksgiving

Canadian Thanks Giving. It was good, we went to Mike's Grandmothers and a very enjoyable time. Everyone got along, no fighting, no sideways looks, no backhanded comments, Ahhh a peaceful family!

The Table was full of wonderful foods: Turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, gravy, candied yams, brussel sprouts, peas & carrots, salads, lemon meringue pie, pumpkin pie, apple crumble and whipping cream! And it was ALL DAIRY FREE!!!

I couldn't eat very much though ( I tried! ) I think my stomach has shrunk after being sick and not eating and then not having much appetite with all the stress from the last few weeks. I can fit into jeans that were too tight in the spring. I'm going to try and not eat too much at meal times, use the smaller dinner plates etc.

I feel good, getting my last post out has helped me alot. I was advised by a councilor to write a letter to those that I have issues with and it was my choice to send it to them or not. I chose to Blog it and when Lisa was harassing me, I chose to give her the address for the blog. I heard her opinions of it via MSN and my answering machine, they were not pretty, makes me glad it is now out in the open. But I see from my visitor feed she never let my brother read it. Just proves my point about her.

I do not hate my sister and brother, I just don't want to deal with them anytime in the near future. Things may change in a few months/years/decades.

I'm Done!

I am so sick and tired of reaching out, being nice and making peace and then to get a wall put up or to be yelled at and my hand slapped. It's ridiculous.

This is my notice to some family members, this is the end!

James I love you, But I also Love our Father Chuck and our Brother Rob. You and I have barely talked in the last 3-10 years. When we are together we have a great time, I always have good memories of you. You know I have never liked your girlfriends and you current one is a Bitch. Lisa said she doesn't like to be fake to others but, you know what, I've been fake to her and you about her. I do not like her, I do not like how she runs her house and I do not like how she is raising your daughter. I do have a few issues with you, James, that go beyond your choice in women. You look for negativity, you remember all the bad things. Can you recall any good things about our time spent at Chucks? Do you have anything nice to say about your brother Rob? Do you even like/acknowledge that you have 3 wonderful younger siblings that had tried for years to get to know you even when Chuck told them not to? Do you even remember good times with me? or our childhood? I wish you lots of love and luck in your life. I will regret not knowing your daughter.

Lisa, I do not like you and I never have. I have always been fake with you just to keep James in my life. I truly hope your daughter will not be totally screwed up. She is a very happy child but you are preventing her the necessary milestones.

Jennifer, I love you but I do not know you. There were a few years after you graduated from High school that we were friends and possible understood each other but before that time and after, we never got along. Mike has been in my life since you were 10 years old, weather you want to believe it or not, he thinks of you as a sister. It has always hurt me that you don't respect him and have never taken the time to know who he is. Recently you accused me of spreading lies about you, but you are just lieing to yourself. You may not want to admit those things but it doesn't matter, you know you said them and did them as do I. I thought you had turned over a new leaf when you met Murad, you calmed down and stopped the drinking and sleeping around. But he really didn't change you, just hid those details about you. You may be able to forget the past but it's still there and it's made you you. Giving presents to my daughters doesn't make you an aunt, time spent with them does.

Murad, I'm sorry I'll never get to know you. You seem like a decent guy and it's no wonder why my sister loves you, I wish the best for you.

I know this blog will cause a Grand canyon out of a small rift but I am past caring. I have been hurt for too long, the stress is not healthy. The saying "You can choose your friends but not your family" is too true but right now I am choosing to say good bye to those family members.

I'm sorry Mom.

Anger, Sad, Stress and Frustration!

That about sums up what I am feeling right now. I wrote a huge post telling certain people off but I have deleted it.

Fall fair Pictures

This post is a few days late but I don't think anyone will be upset with me :D

As I posted before Rob, JamieL and Cam came to spend the weekend with us and we all went to the RC Fall Fair.

Baby Cam is so happy all the time, even while being fussy with the bright sun when he's have his Lunch.

Even though he can't talk yet, you can see he is upset he can't go on the rids like he older cousins
The girls on their first ride, a slooooow merry-go-round
A better ride, they controled how high they went in this plane ride

Two happy and excited sisters waiting for the next ride

Here is a video of the girls on a mini rollercoaster, they loved it!

(they are in the front)

Stressful few weeks but calming down...

Finally thinks are getting a bit less complicated and stressful.

Babysitting other peoples kids is not delightful when they have free reign at their own house. In the end, I was full of pride at the manners that Danny picked up but I was ready to strangle his sister. Two days later and I'm still upset with Sylvia, her bratty-ness has rubbed off on Anna! Now I have to live with her doing the "Why" stage(questioning my authority). ARRG!

Brother Rob and his fiance Jamie and Baby Cam stayed with us over the weekend. We all went to the RC fall fair on Saturday and Rob and Mike went hunting Sunday Morning. It was great spending time with them again, Cam is getting so adventurous, climbing everything and trying to stand by his-self.

Early in the week we had some Family drama with my siblings. Misunderstandings, misquotes and jumping to conclusions leads to some very heating phone calls and threats. The Changeways and 7 healthy habits courses sure came in hand! Luckily thinks seemed to have ended peacefully, at least on my end. I'm sure it hasn't fully ended and will soon not be forgotten but that's life! No one is perfect.

Guess what! I'm Co-chair for our school's PAC! Whoo woo! and I'll also train to take over the treasure's position next year. Had a few flashbacks of WI but I think the school will be more mature then those ladies were!

Also, I'm running Ivy's school's Snack Shack and taking Japanese dance on Wednesdays. Tuesdays Anna was visits with the speech therapist and Tuesday and Thursday Afternoons we have Play group. Early Oct the school is have a harvest Lunch, I'll be making buns and serving the turkey lunch. End of Oct, Anna has appointments in Children's Hospital so we'll combine a visit to the Cariboo at the same time. We'll be there for my 30th Birthday too so I guess no party for me :( I'm hoping to have Thanksgiving with my Family (Hint, Hint) then X-mas with Mike's.

I'll post pictures of the Fair later tonight.

Frustrated!

I want to scream and yell, throw a huge tantrum and bash some heads together!!!

No not my kids's heads but the cousins! I got stuck babysitting again this week as M&T can't seem to follow doctors orders and look after their youngest child, he is back in the hospital with a feeding tube. The other 2 are as bratty as ever. Well, Danny is getting better, I think he is finding some respect for me and he realises it's just not me, he is being disaplined in school already and he's only been there 2 days!

I don't know what's wrong with sylvia but the tears and whinging just won't stop, I've put her in time out and she screams she is going to run and find her parents, she won't share with her brother nor my Anna, so I tell Danny not to share with her and she cries more! Arrg! I thought me girls were bad at criing but no way no how! These other kids sure know how to work it!

Wish it was the olden days and I could make them scrub the floor and belt them!! ARRRG I'm soooooooooooooo upset!