Monday, January 30, 2012

Conversations... with myself...

Maybe it's just me, I hope it's not, hopefully it's quite common...

My mind very rarely shuts off. It is constantly thinking, re-hashing conversations, creating new recipes, new projects, trying to remember, dictating blogs/letters/phone calls, singing, reminding, making lists, and well, talking to me.  I will be staring at the TV or computer but I'm actually not paying attention to it, I'm preoccupied with whatever thoughts are running through my brain.  My husband will ask me something about what I'm doing/watching and I really can't answer him.

I've been asked/told that "it must be so boring at home without the girls" but I'm not. I don't really see my friends that often, 10-20 mins everyday at the school bus stop, a few hours with the neighbour on our shopping trips once a week but other then that I'm busy with *me* till the kids come home. I DO do stuff during the day: some house cleaning/chores, taking care of animals, cooking, shopping, PAC volunteering, computer work/games. But I really don't need someone around me all day, as far as I can remember I have always been fine with just myself.

Never being lonely seems to be the only plus side to living with my brain though. When it's 2am and I'm trying to sleep, it's waaay to noisy! Louder than Micheal's snoring! That is annoying
Or when I'm busy and bustling my little behind, my brain is too quiet and Micheal and the girls can't hear it asking nicely for their help and then my brain sends messages to my mouth to bark out orders at them to hurry up and do it NOW!  Ya, that's not fun nor nice. 
Or when I keep thinking of something, planing on doing it and I've thought of it for so long that I actually think that I have done it and it turns out that I haven't... that sucks!

It is not fun, very annoying and sucks so much that I begin to wonder if I'm going crazy. Is this "talking to ones self"? I'm I going nuts? When/how do I know when it's too much? 

Is my brain taking over... me?

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