Monday, March 31, 2008

Post 35~Anna's Lump

Anna has a lump on her left love handle. It's about the size of a golf ball and is squishy like a water balloon. I first noticed it last Tuesday (Mar 25)and being that it was spring break and our Doc was on vacation, I called the health Nurse Julie. she asked me a whole bunch of Q's: Is she pooping and peeing fine? (yes) is it bruised, has she fallen recently?(no) does it hurt, is she feverish? (no) etc. etc. Julie didn't know what to make of it, she said that if it changed or if Anna gets a fever to go to the hospital and if nothing happens wait till doc gets back and take her in.

Well that was all good until Thursday night when she got a 102* F fever, I gave her Tylenol and it came back down to normal but the next morn it was around 100*F again. I called Julie again and she told me to rush Anna to the ER and if they try to send us away (cuz GF hospital is getting useless) then we were to call her back and she'd raise holy hell! Thankfully the docs at the ER were concerned enough to run a bunch of tests. A urine sample was taken along with blood work and an ultrasound was also performed. The blood work showed no sign of infection and the ultrasound showed that the lump was most likely a fatty deposit but to be on the safe side the results were being sent to a Radiologist to make sure it's not a tumour or something. So that is a huge weight lifted off our minds. If the Radiologist has any concerns then a biopsy might be performed but the docs are pretty sure its just a fatty lump.

While we were at the hospital with Anna, Ivy was staying with the neighbour Donna. They had a great time and walked to the Anaconda Cafe for lunch (1.5 km away) Friday eve and Saturday morn Ivy complained that her right leg/thigh hurt, we just though it was from too much walking. Sat eve she was fine, Sunday morn we went to K&S's and she was fine. Sunday eve, her legs started to hurt again, and this morning she can hardly walk without screaming in pain. I'm at a loss of what to do! I've made a Doctors appointment for this afternoon but I don't think she can do much for Ivy. I really hope her pains will go away soon cuz she's supposed to start gymnastics this Thursday and I'd hate for her to loose this opportunity.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Post #34 ~ Quilting Again

This week seems to be going alright, not much really happened, not much to complain about hahaha. I survived Easter dinner on Saturday, everyone seems to enjoy the food and company. Cleaning up was a breeze and it was nice not to have to travel home afterward (big bonus for being the hostess) I just might host another sit down meal in the future!

I've been taking my meds for 6 days now and I haven't had much side effects, a little tired the first day (1/2 pill) and yesterday I had a headache (first day of whole pill) today seems to OK. I'm not sure if its from the anti-depressant or just spring in the air but I had enough motivation to clear off my sewing desk and hook up my sewing machine yesterday. I haven't sewed for fun for about 3 that long, Ivy was still a baby.....yikes.

Ivy was looking through some quilting mags with me and she liked the little quilts for dolls so we decided to make one today. I thought she would loose interest fast but she didn't, every time I took a break or got distracted she would call me back and told me to keep going. Now, how do I get her that interested in cleaning up after herself! :P Ivy chose all the fabric, and matched all the patches and helped me arrange it and picked out the buttons and thread, so even though I did all the sewing and ironing it is truly her quilt! Anna wants to do one now but that will have to wait for tomorrow

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Post #33~Easter Dinner

Looking back through some of my most recent post I realized I had forgot to blog about the Easter dinner I am putting on tonight. A few weeks ago while talking about this upcoming holiday Mike said that we should host the dinner....we meaning me....but I agreed and asked K if it was alright, she asked Gr.P and she said sure. So in addition to my family of 4 there will be: S and K, Gr.P and Uncle F, Bro-in-law B and maybe his date. Yikes thats 10 people, I think this is the biggest sit down dinner I've done (the girls B-day parties have been casual smorg style).

At least the meal is simple, Traditional Hungarian fare: smoked ham with sausage and whole eggs all boiled together....and that is usually it if the other ladies were making it. But since I am cooking it this year I am making some scalloped potatoes and a green salad to accompany all that protein. Gr.P is not very impressed, she says its tradition to have no veggies but I don't care this is my house and I'm starting my own traditions. Yaa Me!! I'm being assertive!

K is helping out by bringing homemade bread and lemon pie and I think Gr.P is bringing some Easter buns and Jello. So it will be simple but filling and thats how we like it! Anna is grumpy so I shall try to calm her down then start the dinner.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Post #32~R/X

After a bunch of humming and hawing and some much needed encouragement from an Internet friend I went and saw my Doc about the anti-depressants. I totally broke down crying in her office and told her my fears for taking drugs but she told me all they do and it's not like on TV or movies so I said OK, I'll try them. I was shocked when she gave me a prescription for 2 months, that seemed a long time, then when I spoke with my councilor MdW the next day she said I'll probably be on them for over a year....that in itself is depressing. So I got the RX today and I'll be taking a half dose for the first 4 days to let my body become accustomed to it. I'll take my first dose tomorrow morning, Mike will be around (off for Easter weekend) so if I have a reaction to the pill he'll be around to help me and the girls....I'm so nervous, one of the side effects is dizziness, and I hate being dizzy! I know it's for the best, my best, but I still wish I could snap out of this on my own.

MdW also gave me a to do list to help me break out this isolation that i have built up around myself, it seems really silly but most of it is around calling people who i want as friends but am too chicken to call or ask to hang out with me....I need friends but I have a really hard time making and keeping friends, my closest friends all seem to move away. Maybe MdW's pushing will help get me out of my old habits....I certainly don't do much pushing of myself....I guess thats something to look forward too, making friends....

Monday, March 17, 2008

Post #31~Weekend

It's St. Patrick's day and I have no green to wear, Oh well, pinches don't hurt too much. I tried to get Ivy to wear something green or to make something out of green construction paper but she blew up at me. "I do it my way" seems to be the only response I get from her these days.

We came home from playgroup on Friday to find my in-laws waiting for us. S had to go to the docs so they came early to visit but we weren't home. Just another reason why they should call first. Ivy went home with them and spent the night (Friday) then we dropped off Anna there as well on our way to Kelowna Saturday morn. We ended up driving to Vernon so Mike could visit some "guy" stores then back to Kelowna for more "guy" stores and the book store. Then we saw 10,000BC at the theater, it was fairly cool, great special FX but poor science which made Mike go on and on and on about the movie's faults. The movie is worth seeing but just don't believe it was the truth. After the movie we did our shopping and by the time that was done it was almost 10pm, yikes! We made a quick call to the in-laws and told them we were on our way. When we finally got to their house everyone but K was sleeping, she told us to go home and pick the girls up the next day. After midnight by the time we came home.

Sunday morning without kids was awesome, slept in till 10am. It was so nice to be able to wake up on my own, not to be startled awake by arguing or overly happy girls. Mike had to fix his mom's computer (he was working on it since Friday) so we were late getting out the door to pick up the girls, it was after lunch by the time we got back over there. Anna was extremely grumpy from not sleeping well and Ivy's stuffy nose seems to getting worse. Mike got to shoot off a few rounds from his new black powder rifle (the kind of gun you pour in the gun powder then slide a lead ball in then tap it all gentle and piece of flint is used to set it off) Lots of smoke and the smell is unbelievable, yucky sulfur, stinky egg smell. Mike did manage to hit the target every time despite what he was expecting, which made me proud.

The sunflowers the girls and I planted last week are about 3-5 inches high right now, not sure what to do with them though... still too early to put outside, I don't really want to transfer them into large pots since they are just going right out side in a few weeks.... maybe I'll try to plant a few outside, if they do freeze I'll just plant more, sunflowers are cheap and common enough. I'm still shocked how fast the sunflowers germinated, excellent for the girls to plant cuz the results are fast.

I'm going to try to put Anna down for a nap, she is starting to get grumpy and pick fights with me and Ivy.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Post # 30 ~ New visitor

I had a new visitor to the yard today. While out feeding rabbits this morning the birds where all out and singing even the crows, one seems particular noisy by the lilacs and

I told him to shut up and go away, he didn't. So I went to turn around and throw a snow ball at him and he turned out to be a Blue Jay!! I've never seen one in person before, I can't get over how blue he was! I ran back in the house to get the camera,

hoping all the way that the bird wouldn't take off. I almost squealed in delight when he was still there when I got back. He wouldn't let me get too close and if/when I did sneak in for a close-up, Rupert would run up and scare him off. I wonder if he will be around tomorrow, I'll have to make sure my camera is with me when I first go outside.

Post #29 ~ Anit-depressants??

We are enjoying a lazy day at home today, we being me and girls. I really hate this time change, I just can't seem to get used to it, thankfully the girls have adjusted and so has Mike. I have not been able to sleep well for over a week now. I stay up late, toss and turn, wake up lots then I don't want to get up in the morning, MdW (my councilor) says it's from depression and I'm probably getting worse. She wants me to talk to DR.W and see about going on anti-depressants. I'm not liking the idea and am putting off making an appointment. Why can't I just feel better, like normal...but what do I know about normal....Have I ever been normal?? Should I be normal? Isn't it better to be unique....well, I want to be unique and I want to happy.....Is there a way to be both? Maybe I should make an appointment I seem to be talking to myself.....

After I vacuum I'm going to dig out the boxes with Ivy's hand-me-downs and find some pants for Anna, she seems to growing in the legs. And tonight will mark 1 week without any bottles for Anna, Yahoo!! She still asks for one but I tell her that she is a big girl and big girls have their soy milk in cups. Then she laughs and says "bottles for babies, Anna big girl" I'm sooo thankfully she has given it up easily, I was so worried she would fight me on this issue.

Monday, March 10, 2008

Post #28 ~ The birds

Click on a photo to enlarge

Here are some of the photo's I took of the birds at my feeder last wednesday. I can't seem to figue out how to display them properly useing the blogger format so please bare with me and the disorderly look. I have always enjoyed seeing and hearing the birds but this is the first year I have feed them and encouged them into the yard...I'll probably regret it this summer when I want them out of my garden. I've been getting so many birds right now that the bird feeder needs to filled everyday but I don't. I'm only going to fill it every 3rd day, They'll have to check the neighbours yards on those off days.
I love this shot, mid flight, they look like they are fighting but they are just taking turns.

Sunday, March 9, 2008

Post #27 ~ week review

Yikes, I didn't realize I hadn't blogged for a week, my adoring fans must be restless and sitting at the edge of their seats waiting for my awe inspiring words....ya right!

I'm not sure if I can remember all what I did this week but I will try. On Monday it snowed 4 inches during the night so I went out and shovelled (first time since my hand injury, not fun) our walks and my neighbours, she was off taking her brother to the airport in Spokane. Mikey's asthma has been pretty bad this winter, so his daughter wants him to stay at her house in MEXICO!! for 3 months. I'm jealous but not too much :) I wonder if when I'm old if my daughters will be that nice, When they are adults I'll have to push them into buy somewhere tropical...maybe on the Mediterranean sea.....
Anyhow, back to real life, Monday night Mike, the girls and I took our new neighbours (Rebbecca and her girls) to the family center in GF for a talk/meeting about preschoolers and sex education. We (the 3 adults) didn't really learn anything but it was good to get out and see other parents who have the same issues as we do, what to call the private regions, how to talk to kids about how babies are made, teach them how to protect themselves from sexual predators etc. etc. I don't think my parents ever talked to me about that stuff, and Mike says that neither did his parents. It's pretty scary how our world is changing, even in the last 10-30 years.

Mike broke his machine on Monday so he was home Tuesday and Wednesday waiting for parts. Tuesday the girls and I went to playgroup, fun. Wednesday we went to the Library for story time, Mike came too !!! That made me happy! then after lunch we all played out side, it was nice and warm. I tried to take pictures of the birds at my bird feeder, my camera is too slow to take a good pic but I got some. Topia, who lives behind us, heard us outside so she brought her 1 year old daughter over to play. Ivy loved showing off and was quite hyper which made me upset but I couldn't do anything about it, just her nature I guess. We had a talk later after Topia went home: please be nicer, don't jump up so much, don't scream, don't put toys/things in someones face etc.etc. If I had known we were going to have a visitor I would have told Ivy all this beforehand....or am I expecting too much from her?

Thursday afternoon was playgroup, actually it was Alphabet soup and H.O.P, play that is based around healthy food choices and activities. we made mini pizzas using english muffins, poor Anna could only have the muffin, no toppings but she didn't like the toppings she could eat anyway. The choices were red peppers, mushrooms and pineapple, Anna hates all and Ivy only likes mushrooms, so whats a mom to do? Friday we stayed home, made a rib roast and pop overs which didn't pop. Had a big fight with mike that night, I almost left with the girls but I didn't want to drive while emotional. Gave him the silent treatment all night and next morning, then we had it out again, yelling. Then lots of tears later we resolved it, mostly caused by stress and frustration, uncertainty of work and money coming in. I really hate fighting with the girls around but we all sat down and talked about it as a family afterward, told them we still love each other and we aren't mad at them, Ivy told us how she felt and told us not to be so loud next time, Anna just gave us big hugs said "love you mom, love you daddy". *sniff* I'm gonna start crying again.

Today is Sunday and it didn't start off very well. Stupid time change, I don't understand why we still need it. I heard the girls talking first thing then Ivy ran out of the room slammed the door and yelled at Anna "I have to go potty" then I heard "Uh, Oh....Mommmy..." A Mother's most hated 3 little words. She peed all over the bathroom floor and doorway, I don't even think she tried to stop it or sit on the toilet. So I threw her int he tub for a bath and mopped up everything, in the middle of cleaning Anna started to get to undress herself so she could join her sis. When it comes to a bath Anna will take off her clothes but any other time she will act dumb and make me fight her to take off anything, KIDS! Arrggg.

Sunday, March 2, 2008

Post # 26~Day trip

Saturday was such a nice day that I just had to get out of this house so I dragged everyone down to Osoyoos for the day. We went out for lunch at DQ, browsed the magazine shop, bought some seeds and peet pellets and Home Hardware, shopped at the dollar store for Easter stuff, I bought a new purse at Fields, we looked around the furniture store for a new dishwasher and bunk beds, and then did some grocery shopping. I had fun! Mike and the girls...not so much, they ended up staying in the van while I was in the dollar store and grocery store. On the way home, I thought that the day was strange, I usually hate shopping exspecially if I do it by myself, not that day though, I could have kept going but the others were getting grumpy.

Here are some recent pictures of the girls.

Anna is dressed is the hat and poncho that Nana made for her last Christmas, it's too small but she still loves to wear it. And that is ivy's Cabbage Patch doll that she is lovin even thou she has two of her own. Soon after this pic was taken Ivy claimed the doll and a fight broke out but it was short lived, Anna soon found another doll to play with.

Ivy is showing off a cup of marbles and a cup of rocks that belong to her dad, they are supposed to be for his sling shot but I think she has convinced him that she'd be better off playing with them. lol, I wonder if he'll hide them when she's not looking, he doesn't have the nerve to take them away while she watches.

post # 25-Crooked Fingers

It is time for an update of my fingers/hand. All the scabs have healed, the skin grafts have all taken and now I am left with these Crooked fingers and weak hand. I am thankful that I'm whole and fully healed but it's difficult living with these numb, stiff, sensitive, almost useless digits. I know, I know, I shouldn't dwell on the negative, and I usually don't, it could have been a lot worse.

My Brother-in-law e-mailed this to me:
"ah well scars are good they show that we've over come obsticals in life"
I think that's one of the truest and smartest things he's said to me in a long while.

I have been using my hand in normal, everyday activities and most things are no big deal. But anything that needs strength and a firm grip are still difficult. It will take time, and patience, which if anyone knows me will know those are not my strong points, lol.

This last photo is a shot of my wrist where the skin graft was taken from. It's quite ugly: a wobbly thin scar with small red dots to either side from the stitches. It is embarrassing having it on my wrist, I always think people will think that I tried to commit suicide. It's very itchy all the time too.

As I said in a previous post, the plastic surgeon, Dr.DG, said it would take 1 to 1 1/2 years till the pinkie looks normal, so hopefully by then I will be able to straighten these fingers and bend my wrist fully too. I have seen improvement in my wrist's mobility in the last 3 weeks from the physio exercises.

Hmmm, I wonder what that black line on the wall is, I didn't notice it before but it seems to be in all the photos, I'll have to investigate..... So that's that for now